sean liz evan

at church we got into the discussion about answered prayer. the conversation was started by the nooma video titled “kickball.” in it, Rob Bell suggests that we are like toddlers when we pray. we ask for what we can see in front of us, even when God might have something better in store for us that only God knows about. we kick and scream when prayers are not answered as we think they should be.

but he also suggests (as i’ve heard before) that God will answer our prayers.

then why is there war?

and thus began a great line of thinking. and growth for me.

my pastor pointed out that prayer isn’t about the outside world. it is about me. it is about changing me, not you or our political leaders. so what we need is to train everyone in prayer. and train them to respond to prayer, not just kick and scream like the toddler. because it is obvious that many people will do extreme things to get what they want. and they’ll do it in the name of God on their side.

this is a crappy piece of writing. but trust me, there’s something to this line of thought.

i am an environmentalist. i am a climatologist. i know that global warming is happening. i know what might happen.

i do the right stuff … i don’t eat meat. i drive a 2 wheel drive car that gets 30 mpg. i buy energy star appliances. i use a push mower (gas powered). i live within 5 miles of my office. i’ve changed the light bulbs to cfs. etc.

but i still consume more stuff than most people in the world. i buy stuff that was made on the other side of the globe. i use a clothes dryer. i have plastic toys all over my house. i watch lots of television or surf the net. i have multiple televisions, vcrs, dvd players, an ipod, etc. i yearn for the latest technology long before my current item stops working.

i consume lots of stuff. and i still call myself an environmentalist.

i might spend my days trying to make the political world notice the problem and take large scale action. but i too often ignore my own impact.

i felt like we could not solve this problem by small actions by individuals. and i still feel that way. but we cannot use this as an excuse not to take action.

this past summer liz and i read a book called “Serve God, Save the Planet” by Dr. Matthew Sleeth. it opened my eyes. in it i began to see how my own environmentalism was firmly planted in Old Testament theology. we were to treat the planet well because it was God’s creation. it was simply the right thing to do. but Sleeth showed me that environmentalism is a natural consequence of the New Testament commandment to love God. he demonstrated to me how my consumption not only negatively impacts creation, but how it interferes with my ability to love God.

i have spent far too much of my life worshiping my stuff. i spend time thinking about how my ipod only holds 30gb and i have 60gb of music on my hard drive. i worry about making car payments. i spend time and energy and money on things that have nothing to do with NEEDS. it is one thing to use resources to find food, water, and security (physical & emotional). it is quite another to spend resources on unnecessary things.

i should spend my extra resources on God.

now i believe in a God that is present and deeply embedded in this world. so in spending our resources on God, we should be helping those that have true NEEDS. and what i do consume shouldn’t hurt anyone.

and not just people.

this book has changed my outlook on why i am an environmentalist. it has also changed how i think about every purchase.

i watch less television because of this book. i spend more time reading because of this book. i dry my clothes outside because of this book. i stopped buying clothes i don’t need because of this book.

i have a long way to go. i still have a hefty energy bill each month. i still get wowed by the iphone. i still use my clothes dryer. i still buy stuff i don’t NEED.

but i’m getting better. we all need to get better. we need to heal our relationship with God. and quick.

i recommend that you read it: http://www.servegodsavetheplanet.org/

we tried three way video chat today for research meeting today. it was pretty cool, but we could really use to see the screen in the conference room. i think i’ll go get leopard today. hopefully the new features will work as described.

okay. i got it. i’m going to install it.

i want to learn how to write. what better way to learn than to write — a lot. so i’m going to try something simple. i’m going to write about my day at work. if i can make my work day sing, i can make anything sing.

monday.

as usual, it was cold in my office today. the heating system for this office is linked to the waiting room, but it’s at the end of the line. the air distributed to this room has already cooled off before it gets here. and i keep my door closed, so it doesn’t have a chance to mix with the waiting room air. so it’s cold. it’s always cold.

every morning, i turn on the space heater and read my email with a hat on. today was no different. 500 emails (495 spam) were in my inbox this morning. why so much spam? shouldn’t the programmers figure out that i never click on the advertisements? why wouldn’t they figure out a way to generate business and not just annoy people?

today i sifted through more farm subsidy recipients. i’m trying to get a better handle on how we’re spending the resources that we have. unfortunately that’s all i can say about what i’m doing. but it will be worth the read once we’ve finished the project.

during a call this afternoon about one of our projects, i remembered why i left academic modeling and got into advocacy work. in the academic arena, you are required to make sure every detail of your argument is complete and defensible. this is true even when the big picture is clear. in advocacy, you can focus on the big picture and leave the details for a later date. of course i’m blanking on a detailed example right now, so let’s just say that my argument holds true on the big picture side. lol.

that seems like enough practice for today. let’s see how long i keep this up …

liz and i have recently joined thousands of people to provide no interest loans to businesses in the developing world. we are very excited about this opportunity provided by kiva.org. view our loans here http://www.kiva.org/lender/seangray more about this later

[[NY Times Link]]
It has been wonderful to hear so much from the Evangelical movement on the environment recently. I have always been concerned that environmentalism has been improperly separated from Christianity. It excites me to see Rick Warren, Rich Cizik, Jim Ball, and others stepping up and proclaiming the truth — that the environment should be our biggest concern as Christians.

It helps me believe that we really are serving the same God.

Every time I see the UCC logo for the “God is still speaking,” campaign, I hear the call to ministry that I have ignored for too long. I just don’t know what it really means … or how it should manifest itself in my life …

I started exploring the UCC’s site askthequestion.org this past week. If I take their answers to “What is a “call” to ministry?” on this page as a check list, the clarity of my call breaks down quickly. God has granted me many gifts to comprehend, organize, and interpret the realities of this world. But I do not naturally have the “bedside manner” that seems so critical to a “typical” Christian ministry. I am reactionary and confrontational by nature/nurture … and hold on tight to control and the need to win.

Simply acknowledging God’s calling in my life is a difficult struggle for me. I know that I will need to hand myself over to God. I have done anything and everything in my power to keep this from happening since I first heard a twinkling of a call in my teens. I even tried to convince myself that there is no God for a while in college — but this lasted mere minutes. It is clear to me now that God was with me that day, telling me that there are plans for me yet.

But I have tuned out my call until now. I am ready to start listening to God speak to me.